Goodbye, old friend

I made a decision this week. It's been a long time coming. I've known that I should do it for a while now.

Last night, finally acted on the decision.

I am abstaining from all cereal.

I first considered this move when I was skimming the Overeaters Anonymous website. Like AA, OA teaches abstinance from any and all foods that send a person into an "eating binge."

Then I saw this video over at Cindy Beall's blog. She talks about "trigger foods."

Sheesh. You'd think by that point, I would've gotten the hint.

Finally, good ol' Dr.Z (the doctor who FINALLY diagnosed my cortisol imbalance) talked to me about "Morphine Centers" in the brain. He said that, with some people, certain foods create the same feeling in the brain that Morphine does. It's soothing, calming, and addictive. He said, "You know you have a Morphine Center because you crave this food even when you're not hungry, and you don't feel satisfied - even after a big meal - unless you've had this food."

Um, ok. Honestly? The whole time he was telling me that, my brain was screaming, "JUST GET HIM TO HURRY UP AND FINISH TALKING BECAUSE I AM DESPERATELY NEEDING SOME SOGGY CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH!"

But I kept telling myself the things that all addicts say: "I could stop anytime I want." "I don't have to completely cut it out." "It's okay in small portions." "I can control myself enough to just have it once a day."

But I couldn't. And I do. And it's not. And I can't.

Cereal is my go-to any time... every time. It's a comfort. It's a filler for boredom. It's an excuse to sit on the couch and watch a movie. It's my trigger food that sends me into a bad, bad eating spiral. It's my Morphine.

As you know, one of the small goals I set was to cut back to one bowl of cereal a day by 7/9/10 - Today. I was serious. I WANTED to stick to that goal. I bought a small box of "healthy" cereal to help curb the temptation because I knew that if I ate more than 1 bowl a day, I wouldn't have any for breakfast the rest of the week.

But I also bought sugary kid's cereal for Chloe.

Still, I was DETERMINED.

Turns out, determination isn't enough. Will power isn't enough.

If it's available, I will eat it.

So, as of last night's grocery trip, our family has made a collective decision to not allow cereal in our house (with the exception of whole grain cheerios for Maple's snack time... which, trust me, is NO temptation for me).

Chloe is going to peanut butter toast and fruit for breakfast. I've gone to fruit and yogurt. Brandon is eating plain oatmeal with fresh fruit. Occasionally, we all have eggs.

No more cereal. It's filler food that leaves me longing for more, no matter how much I eat. It's sugary carbs that do nothing to build my little one a healthy body.

And it no longer holds a place in the Thixton home.

I. Am. Resolved.